The Hivemaster

Back in 1994 TSR released The Complete Druid’s Handbook supplement guide. The guide offered new character “kits” for players and introduced my favorite, albeit most underrated kit, The Hivemaster. Hivemasters appear somewhat enigmatic. Many attempt to instill insectoid virtues in their followers, such as patience, hard work, and close cooperation. Some higher-level Hivemasters even attempt to influence human societies to adopt a communal pattern modeled on that of hive insects. Others–often styling themselves Webmasters–take on the patient, deadly personas of predator arachnids or insects such as dragonflies or spiders, ruthlessly hunting down (or lying in wait to trap) the enemies of the druidic order. A Hivemaster’s grove usually centers on the dwelling place of the creature for which the druid has the greatest affinity–a forest covered with spider webs, a field with beehives, etc…

Uhhh – Okay, but where am I going with this? What does this have to do Dresden? Well, the answer is pretty simple. In a fantasy world being a Hivemaster is eccentric and cool. You can walk through spider webs and not get stuck! When you’re a dog allergic to either your glucosamine supplements or Rimadyl being a Hivemaster is totally not fun, cool, or eccentric. It’s miserable. For the last 3 days we have been playing the game – what makes Dresden break out into gigantic huge raised itchy bumps all over his body? The answer is – we have no damn clue. We started giving him 75mg of Benadryl which alleviated all symptoms, but did not address the problem. All it did was make a lethargic, constipated puppy that lost his appetite. Stage two has been the discontinuation of all drugs as we patiently wait for our Hivemaster to recover. Then we will start ONE treatment and see if it causes his visceral allergic reaction.   Nothing like experimenting on your dog to resolve problems…. while this is going on we have belayed the casting and sedation for his custom ACL braces. I mean, c’mon, one issue at a time.

Long story short, being a Hivemaster is only cool when dealing with fantasy roleplaying games – in real life it totally sucks!

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